hypnotherapy4u.com.au

Everybody I know is working on one issue or another, trying to move into a better space in their lives, some big some small. Most of the issues we struggle with are the deep rooted ones that were planted there when we were children.

Knowing that, as a parent, how careful are you with the seeds you are planting in the fertile soil of your child’s mind? By not thinking, are you planting weeds that they’ll be struggling with for the rest of their lives … just as you are struggling with your deep rooted weeds?

Is your goal to build up your children with every conversation you have … even if it’s a reprimand.

Children are in a huge learning mode. Of course they are going to make mistakes over and over until they “get it”. Just as when they started to walk, they didn’t simply stand up and run. They tried and tried and failed and failed … tried and failed until they understood how these things called legs work.

It’s the same with life … they’ll keep trying and failing until they get how life works. Now you didn’t go ballistic or speak negatively to them when they couldn’t walk first try. So why is there negative talk instead of encouragement when they don’t get a life lesson on the first or tenth attempt?

The reason is that it is all about you and your frustrations and your ability to give to love in a non-judgmental way. Parents are often so aggressive and demanding in the language they speak to their children … in a way that they never ever think of speaking to others at work, for example.

Words have an everlasting effect on children. (You remember?) You have the power to speak life to your children and to plant seeds of self-confidence to encourage their dreams.

As a parent, set the standard for how your children treat themselves and how they demand others treat them.

Every unreasoned criticism you blindly thrust upon them robs them of self-esteem and they are inwardly wounded, believing they’re as awful (or worse) as your accusations … and you just thought it was a passing comment from you.

You are their protector … how you engender trust as the protector will affect how they see themselves in life … for the rest of their lives.

Be slow to anger and quick to forgiveness. Give children the benefit of the doubt in every situation, allowing them a chance to express their point of view … without your judgment.

Today, you are writing on the blank pages of your child’s life story. Choose beautiful words of love and encouragement … it’s what you wanted when you were a kid, isn’t it? And wouldn’t it have made a difference to who you are today?

Self-Reflection Questions:
1. What tone of voice do you normally use with your child?

2. How have the words of your own parents affected your life?

3. What are you teaching others about how they should treat your child?

Dr Barry Pierce is a Clinical Hypnotherapist on the Gold Coast in Australia http://www.hypnotherapy4u.com.au

Ever noticed how some men keep dating the same kind of woman and having relationships that end up the same way. Do you think that’s coincidence? Do you think it is coincidence that famed US talk show host Johnny Carson married several women whose names all started with the letter J?

Ever noticed you have the same types of money issues every year? Do you think that’s coincidence or bad luck?

Or are these examples of our lives being run by something other than us – our subconscious? I’m sure you can think of dozens of examples in your own life where patterns keep repeating themselves. Is it relationships, friendships, work, money? Why does it always end up the same way? Why do the same things keep happening to you?

The answer is simple. You’ve trained your subconscious to seek out those situations. You have developed habitual behaviour. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result. Are you ready to change?

We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world. We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves. ~ Buddha

Like me you’ve probably heard the cliche “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade”. I used to think that was a bit cute and Pollyanna-ish. But as I get older I see that it actually works.

Attitude is everything. It’s my intention behind my words and thoughts that makes me grow.

Our lives are formed by our intentions and if we have the intention of finding gems in life, learning experiences, then it actually does all feel as if it is running smoother.

Most of us are pessimistic. When we hit a snag in life’s road, we turn into victims. “They” have done it to me again! In other words you lose control and see yourself as the victim at the mercy of the “perpetrator”, be it a person, an employer or the Government.

But wait, without denying the challenge you’re facing, what if you expected life to always turn out for the best in the long run. What if this bump in the road was just that … a bump … that is uncomfortable while you’re speeding over it but down the road, it has no effect.

A British study done in 1994 by Dr. Richard Wiseman set about to research if people who considered themselves “lucky” had any common traits. Luck, of course, was not mentioned. The subjects didn’t know what his research was about. They thought this was just some silly research in the university. Before he started, he gave them all a questionnaire that asked all sorts of questions – out of which he only needed a few answers to determine who considered themselves unlucky and who considered themselves lucky …. in other words, who expected life to give them lemons and who could create lemonade.

Then what he had them all do was flip through a newspaper with photographs and to count the number of photographs.

After three pages, he’s included a half page ad saying STOP COUNTING. THERE ARE 43 PHOTOGRAPHS IN THIS NEWSPAPER. The ad was right next to a photo.

A few pages later there was another large ad that said: STOP COUNTING, TELL THE EXPERIMENTER YOU’VE SEEN THIS AND WIN 150 POUNDS.

So what do you think happened. Easy, right? They all got the money, right? Wrong.

Most of the people who we’d label as “lemon” thinkers just flipped past these ads – continuing to count the pictures. Remember they were looking just for pictures and they saw nothing else.

The majority of the “lemonaders” stopped at the first ad and said to the research assistant,”There are 43 photographs in here, that’s what it says. Do you want me to bother counting?” And the research assistant would tell them to keep going.

When they got to the second ad, they came back and said “Do I get my 150 pounds now?” And they got it.

The people who saw life as just giving you bitter lemons, kept turning pages, and saw nothing. They didn’t see the opportunities.

You have the power to make any situation work for you instead of against you.

Life is filled with so many opportunities. Today, you can see a bad situation as an opportunity and a good situation as an even better opportunity! If life gives you lemons, make lemonade … or one better, make a lemon meringue pie.

Self-Reflection Questions:
1. Do I often feel sorry for myself because I am unable to spot golden opportunities?
2. How can I increase my quality of life?
3. Do I crumble under pressure?

In my hypnotherapy practice I am constantly helping people who cannot let go of the past. They are either still beating themselves up, still angry and unforgiving towards someone, or they are still trying to solve the issue.

It’s as though their sorrow and pain has become part of them and they’d be naked without it.

In every case, it is a matter of choice. Do you choose to hold onto the past or are you prepared to work at letting it go?

Let me put it simply. Do you drive your car by constantly looking in the rear vision mirror or do you look at the road ahead?

Why look at your past with regret and disappointment? That creates depression and anxiety. The only reason to hold regret, resentment, and disappointment is if you want to blame someone for it … yourself included.

What if you looked at the past as a source of learning, a font of resources, which gave you the drive to create all the great things about you.

You can then attribute today’s happiness to what, in the past, you learned doesn’t work.

You are an amazing person. I know that even if I don’t know you. The question is … do you know it? Do you live with or against the power of life flowing through you? It’s either flowing or you’re intentionally blocking it by choosing to hold onto the past.

We all have battle scars. If you were a soldier, would your battle scars have made you afraid or made you a better warrior? I believe the latter. Your scars give you the power of knowledge and wisdom. You survived the battles …

If there’s one thing that my past has taught me, it is that negativity creates negative experiences. Positivity creates positive experiences in my life. That doesn’t mean being sugary sweet about life … life has its challenges and bitter moments … but they are learning experiences, not damnation … and they pass quickly into history.

Today, make an heartfelt effort to value life for what it is. Leave those folks in the rear vision mirror to drive themselves … you can’t change anything behind you. And if you keep looking in the rear vision mirror, you’ll end up crashing in the future.

Self-Reflection Questions:
1. Do you find it challenging to live for today rather than relive the pain of the past?
2. How can you be truly content with treating the past as a learning experience?
3. What can you do to release your regrets, resentments, anger and disappointment?

Dr Barry Pierce is a Gold Coast Hypnotherapist in Australia